


A lesson to learn

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Series: Extended Scenes & Fix-Its [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Divergence, Episode: s02e04 Day of Wrath, Extended Scene, Gen, Guilty Simon, Healing Magic, Hurt Raphael, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9452270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: He entered the grounds of the Institute and wanted to head for the main entrance but a weird sound from the side of the building stopped him in his tracks. The atmosphere seemed to shift, a cool wind picking up and rustling the leaves of the trees that cast shadows almost as dark as the one coming from the building tower over him. Simon's breath hitched - he really had to learn to just stop breathing because he didn't need it anymore but it was nearly impossible to get rid of this habit just yet - and despite a voice in the back of his head telling him to head inside and get away from whatever might be lurking in the dark, his feet had other plans.He crossed the partly brownish grass, slowly heading closer to the source of the rustling and soft groaning until a smell hit his sensitive nostrils that almost made him gag. It reminded him of burnt meat and Simon's stomach twisted at the mere thought of clearly pained sounds combined with this kind of smell. There was another scent under this one that seemed vaguely familiar but seeing as he hadn't really trained his newly enhanced senses properly, he was unable to seclude the other scent and figure out why it seemed so familiar.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are with another little thing inspired by the new episode. I'm still trying to process what happened and the best way to do that is to _write_ because I just need Simon to be better and less of an asshole with this whole situation.  
>  I'm slightly at a loss at how to tag this because it's partly canon compliant but also canon divergence and ???

Simon had planned to go visit Magnus and ask him for help with the whole Camille issue again but for some reason he felt like talking to Clary first and that was the reason for him being on his way to the Institute instead of the warlock's loft. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach and the weird instinct that his best friend might need him. And with everything that was going on lately Simon preferred to listen to a hopefully ridiculous gut feeling instead of brushing it off and later realising that it had actually been right.

He entered the grounds of the Institute and wanted to head for the main entrance but a weird sound from the side of the building stopped him in his tracks. The atmosphere seemed to shift, a cool wind picking up and rustling the leaves of the trees that cast shadows almost as dark as the one coming from the building tower over him. Simon's breath hitched - he really had to learn to just stop breathing because he didn't need it anymore but it was nearly impossible to get rid of this habit just yet - and despite a voice in the back of his head telling him to head inside and get away from whatever might be lurking in the dark, his feet had other plans.

He crossed the partly brownish grass, slowly heading closer to the source of the rustling and soft groaning until a smell hit his sensitive nostrils that almost made him gag. It reminded him of burnt meat and Simon's stomach twisted at the mere thought of clearly pained sounds combined with this kind of smell. There was another scent under this one that seemed vaguely familiar but seeing as he hadn't really trained his newly enhanced senses properly, he was unable to seclude the other scent and figure out why it seemed so familiar.

He didn't need to, anyway. Because when he stepped around the corner of the building and his eyes adjusted to the even darker shadows in this area, he was met with the way too familiar sound of someone hissing at him.

"Raphael??" The name slipped past his lips before his brain had actually caught up with the familiarity of the sound, now also realising why he had noticed the scent. Simon's eyes widened and his throat felt like it was closing up, causing a choked up little noise of shock at the sight. The smell that had hit him before wasn't burnt meat but scorched flesh - even in the darkness, his eyes were able to see the several deep gashes in Raphael's face pretty clearly.

"W-what happened? Oh G--" As usual, he choked on His name but he couldn't stop to be bothered by it, rushing to the clan leader's side and barely managing to catch the other who's legs were buckling, causing him to almost fall to the ground. The smell of burnt flesh was harsh and made Simon's eyes water but he somehow managed to force himself to not breathe through his nose and instead focused on keeping the other on his feet.

"Who did this to you??" Simon ignored that his voice was a slightly higher pitch than usual but he felt like his heart was bursting out of his chest despite it not even beating but he could imagine it frantically fluttering in his chest all too vividly.

"Who do you _think_?!" Raphael bit back, his voice low, rough and clearly showing the amount of pain the clan leader must be in. Simon swallowed thickly and curled his arm carefully around the other's lower back, pressing him into his own side to keep him from slipping to the ground. He somehow managed to wrap Raphael's arm around his own shoulders, his free hand wrapping around the older vampire's wrist to be able to support the other body as much as possible.

Of course, Simon wasn't an idiot - they were at the Institute and there was only one explanation for how Raphael got into this state and Simon felt his insides twist at the mere thought. He almost choked on the second syllable when he mumbled an "Aldertree" and Raphael made a sound that was probably supposed to be an annoyed huff but ended up in another pained groan and unnecessary intake of breath. Simon had never seen Raphael accidentally breathe before.

"What can I do to help? How can I--what am I supposed to--Should I bring you to the hotel??" Simon asked and he tried to keep the panic from his voice but it was nearly impossible. He knew Raphael wouldn't die from this, at least he hoped the other wouldn't, but it was still shocking to see the clan leader in such a dishevelled state, burned and without any strength to carry his own weight left. Raphael rested heavily against Simon, his muscles working with the little effort he had to add to keep himself upright.

"No! Not the hotel," Raphael grit out, shuddering through another wave of pain that ran through his body and Simon felt like dropping to his knees to pull the other into his arms, cradle him against his chest and apologise for this because he knew it was his fault. If he hadn't slipped up in front of Aldertree, this wouldn't have happened to Raphael.

Simon cursed himself for not thinking of this, for being too wrapped up in his own worries and problems that he had simply dismissed the threat the Clave posed for them, especially for Raphael and the clan. Part of him hadn't thought the Clave to actually be this bad even after the clan leader had told him about their punishment methods. Now that he saw the burn marks in Raphael flesh, the seemingly random pattern suddenly looking awfully close to crosses carved into the vampire's ashen skin, he knew that his assumptions had been beyond naïve.

"Where else? The boathouse doesn't seem like a good place, especially with the werewolves close by...and I can't think of anywhere that's as safe as the Dumort," Simon replied and barely managed to cut it short, to keep himself from rambling. It wouldn't help the situation to freak out even though he felt like having a nervous breakdown, face with the consequences of his mistakes. He had never wanted anyone to get hurt because of him and especially not Raphael, he noticed, but it was a little too late for this realisation.

His eyes widened in surprised when Raphael breathed a "Magnus" to answer his question and it sounded like a barely managed to get this one name out, his voice breaking and body growing a little heavier, more of his remaining strength leaving his limbs. Simon bit back the urge to question this decision and instead started moving in the direction of Magnus's loft.

They barely managed to get a block further until Raphael's knees buckled, his body clearly giving in to the pain and exhaustion, and Simon just about managed to catch the clan leader. He didn't think twice before bending his knees a little to pick the other up and he expected Raphael to snarl at him or fight against being carried but the clan leader only made a few more pained noises without any struggle. The lack of reaction actually scared Simon more than the sight of the other vampire because usually, Raphael would never let anyone carry him, that much was sure.

Simon had no clue how he even got to Magnus's place, everything just flew by and all of his senses were focused on the man in his arms, almost motionlessly cradled against his chest. He banged against the warlock's door, frantically pleading under his breath for the man to be home and open the door, not caring that it was rude to make so much noise but he assumed this emergency warranted the lack of manners.

"For the love of--" The door was slammed open but the clearly annoyed warlock paused in his curse, eyes widening as he took in the sight in front of him.

"He needs your help." Simon knew it was unnecessary to point that out and he wasn't even sure Magnus had heard him because not only was his voice barely above a whisper but Magnus's widened eyes were focused on the almost unconscious clan leader in his arms, frozen for a split second before he ushered Simon inside.

"On the couch with him!" Magnus ordered while rolling up his sleeves and Simon could see a few sparks of the other's magic spring from his fingertips. The warlock was always in control of his magic but now it seemed like he could barely contain it at the sight before him. As soon as Simon had placed Raphael on the couch - as carefully and gently as he could - he was pushed aside and Magnus leant over the clan leader, a cloud of magic streaming from his palms and curling around the wounded vampire's face.

"I was on my way to Clary and found him like this when I arrived at the institute," Simon explained weakly, his gaze fixed on Raphael's pale face that was barely visible through the mist of Magnus's healing magic but he could just so spot the way the wounds seemed to become smaller.

"It was Aldertree. He did this," he added, even though he knew that Magnus was probably very well aware of this fact already. The warlock grit his teeth and his shoulders tensed even more but he kept the steady flow of magic directed at Raphael, mumbling a few soothing words under his breath and Simon was pretty sure he heard him say things like "my poor boy" and "I got you" followed by something in Spanish that was too quickly mumbled for him to understand.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault."

This confession managed to get him Magnus's attention who still kept on healing Raphael but his eyes - cat eyes, Simon noticed a little startled - switched from gazing at the clan leader to him. Simon knew he was starting to fidget under the intense stare, ducking his head in an attempt to avoid the other's scrutiny.

"If I hadn't slipped up in front of Aldertree he probably wouldn't have put the blame for the dens on Raphael. I didn't know something like this would happen. If I had known--If I had--I could have prevented this. I'm...I was so mad at Raphael but I never wanted him to get hurt...I never wanted anyone to get hurt because of me." His voice broke and when he reached up to touch his cheeks, his fingertips were coated in red. Simon would never not be startled by the fact that vampire's cried blood and the sight was simply unnerving but he still couldn't stop more tears from rolling down his cheeks and streaking them with red.

His fingers were shaking and mind buzzing, the shock of finding Raphael like this slowly wearing off and the guild was washing over him with an intensity that left him trembling and scared. Scared that he had become a person who could be this blind to his own actions and how they affected the people around him. This wasn't him! He had always been someone who always put everyone else first and who had always tried to do the right thing. And the first time he wanted to do something for himself, put himself first, it ended in such a completely disaster. His abuser was somewhere out there, killing and recruiting people, and Raphael had gotten badly hurt as another result of Simon's inability to keep his mouth shut.

"While I am inclined to agree with you _fucking up_ quite a big deal, I have to disagree with your apparent inclination to turn the whole thing around completely and putting all the blame on yourself. Yes, part of this is your doing, the result of your actions, but as far as I know others are just as responsible. You're new to this world and it was bound to end in mistakes because you still have to find your place again but other people involved should have known better, taken better care of you."

"Raphael did take care of me. He tried, at least," Simon muttered, just now really coming to the realisation of how true the statement actually was. Raphael had always acted annoyed and like Simon was just a pain in the ass but he had always been around, always watched over him and he had saved Simon's life before - had tried to protect him even before he had been turned. And Simon had never even thanked him for any of it, even though it had never been Raphael's responsibility to handle the fallout of Camille's actions.

"I guess so but I know him well enough to be aware that he has a quite funny way of showing his affection and that it is sometimes lost to other people that he does care. The fact is, most of the time he cares too much and always tries to solve everything on his own. I know it irks him that this is something he can't handle on his own, that he needs to rely on others for help, and that's certainly the reasons he's being so hard on you."

One corner of Magnus's mouth curled into something reminiscent of a smile but it was gone in the blink of an eye and while Simon understood that the other was trying to cheer him up, it only helped lighten the weight on his chest a tiny bit. He still felt like crap and like he didn't even have a right to feel like that because there was Raphael, lying on the couch in Magnus's loft, most of the deep burn marks already vanished from his pale skin but he still looked exhausted and barely holding on to his consciousness.

It took quite a while until Magnus had healed all of the wounds, having moved on to another burn mark on Raphael's hand after healing the ones all over the clan leader's face and neck, and the warlock brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead after getting up from his kneeling position next to the couch. He muttered something about needing a drink and only halfheartedly offered a martini to Simon as well, knowing full well that the fledgeling still had a long way to go until he would be able to consume any other food than blood without throwing it up right away.

With Magnus having left the room, Simon felt even more anxious and helpless, his eyes fixed on anything else but the figure resting on the couch. He flinched involuntarily at the soft rustling when Raphael actually pushed himself into a sitting position with a soft groan, probably still shaking off the aftermath of the pain he had endured.

"I'm trusting you finally realised why it's so important for you to deal with Camille," Raphael's usually smooth voice sounded rough and scratchy, his usually perfectly styled hair framed his head in a curly mess but he still looked breathtakingly beautiful and Simon realised this was really not the time to be admiring Raphael's looks, not after what the other went through tonight.

"Yeah..." He nodded weakly, his shoulder slumping and all the apologies he owed Raphael were right there, on the tip of his tongue, but Simon found himself unable to utter a single word. His throat closed up and made it impossible to suck in air needed to form the sounds he needed to voice the words stumbling around in his head.

Raphael mirrored his nod with a soft "Good" and he pushed himself up from the couch, swaying a little on his feet because he was clearly exhausted but he stubbornly kept standing, brushing off his rumpled clothes and straightening them a little. In any other situation, Simon probably would have laughed at the fact that Raphael's first act after being badly injured through torture was making sure he looked presentable and put together. He didn't know how the clan leader even did it, slip this mask of indifference back on and radiating strength despite not having much of said left right now. It was admirable, really.

Maybe, if Simon ever managed to make it up to the other, he could ask him about it and learn how Raphael did it - how he always managed to keep a lid on his emotions and keep them in check even in moments when they bubbled over and how he always managed to look like nothing affected him despite the expression in his eyes sometimes flickering with the exhaustion of his responsibilities.


End file.
